Friday, August 19, 2011

Day of Hope.

Only people who are capable of
loving strongly can also suffer great
sorrow, but this same necessity of
loving serves to counteract their
grief and heals them.

Today was my 6-week follow up appointment.  Everything is good with me...and when I am ready to have another baby, they have a game plan to prevent this from happening again.  The Dr's appointment was hard.  Pregnant ladies and babies everywhere.  When I walked back to the room I could hear the heartbeats of babies.  The last time I heard that was 20 minutes before Sofia was born.  I know they have told me a million times...but I had to ask... was there really nothing I could have done to prevent this??  They gave me the same response...no.  She said I did everything I could have and fought as hard as I could.  In my mind, I will always search for something I could have done differently.  I was so angry, I am so angry.  It is so unfair.  I feel like there is something right in front of me that I NEED, but I can't reach it...I feel so helpless.
Life is like that though...  and there is nothing I can do to change anything that happened... I can't rewind... I can only move forward.  At times, I am OK.  I have been working and spending time with friends.  But, everything is just so different.  It is so unfair.  I will keep living though, one day at a time.
Today is a Day of Hope.
In society pregnancy, infant and child loss is seen as a taboo subject.

Why is this?

August 19th is a day to break down the walls of society that keep pregnancy, infant and child loss a hush hush subject. People view the death of a baby as just a sad thing that happened.

These babies that die are not sad things that happen. They are people, much loved and wanted children. They are brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, grandsons and granddaughters.

August 19th is about openly speaking about these children and celebrating their short lives. By having this special day once a year we get people speaking about pregnancy, infant and child loss. And by doing this we break those walls down so that people are not afraid to speak about these children anymore.


My daughter, Sofia Hart Castillo was born July 10, 2011 at 6:56AM.  She was perfect. She lived for a few short precious minutes, and for those minutes I held her and loved her.  She went to live with God feeling only love, which is all we want our babies to feel.
Today is a day of hope... 
Hope for the children around us, hope for strength, hope for tomorrow, hope for life. 

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