That was weird...

Yesterday was weird.

I went to lunch with two friends... ice cream in the evening with another... then to my nephew's (Sofia's dads sister's kids) birthday.

The lunch was nice... other than I had anxiety about being away from my house.  They picked me up, so I was a passenger not in control of the destination, which didn't help.  My one friend commented and said they felt pregnant (aka bloated), I replied that they did not know what that felt like (all while thinking I wish I could still feel that).

Ice cream was nice... I was picked up again.  We parked in the downtown mall parking lot and walked to the circle.  It was nice outside.

The birthday party was nice.  I love that side of my family, and even though Sofia's dad and I aren't together anymore, I always will, and they always will be my family.  My beautiful 2 year old step daughter, Yazmyn, was there.  I guess before I had gotten there, she kept asking where I was and that she wanted me to hold her while they did the pinatas.  She gets a little scared with loud noises.  When I got there she ran up to me and jumped in my arms yelling, "LIIINNNDSSEEYYY!"  I love her so much, and at that time I had the brief thought of, "Why won't I ever be able to have Sofia run up to me like that yelling 'MAMI!'"  The thought was interrupted with Yazmyn giving me a puzzling look and asking, "Where were you at?"

There was food, music, family, and babies.  Thank God for their lives and that they get to continue celebrating their birth.  A little girl started crying, which is to be expected with the overwhelming amount of children there were, and Yazmyn noticed.  She stopped dancing and kind of looked around for a moment until she spotted the solution to this little girls problem.  Yazmyn ran over, grabbed a giant yellow balloon, and handed it to the little girl.  In that moment, I was so proud of her, and couldn't help but think 'She would have been the best big sister.'

At the end, I loaded Yazmyn in to her Daddy's car, just like I always did.  'One arm in, two arms in, how many arms do you have?!  TWO!' I told her I would see her later and she insisted on knowing where I was going.  "Where you going?  Up to your seat?" (referring to the front passenger seat).  I replied, "No mama I am going home to my house..."  She looked at me confused, "You mean to grandma's?"  We would go to my mom's house often.  "No, where your princess bed is, remember?"  With a pondering look on her face she replied, "Oh..."  I asked her to give me a kiss,  "Dame un besito...love you." Which she replied with, "Love you too."

Time keeps moving on, birthdays keep happening, and people keep living.  Praise God for that.  But at this time, I am still stuck on July 10th.

Te quiero mucho Sofia, mi nina hermosa.  Siempre estas en mi corazon, siempre estas conmigo.
-Mami